Hey Y'all!
I know it's been a while and you've all just been sitting around on your computers refreshing the page for hours, waiting to hear from me again. Well, I'M BAAAACK! I've been busy being Rock Awesome and cleaning my room and partying and teaching swimming lessons. What can I say? It's a hard-knock life for me.
Lately I've been complaining to my mother about my name. When I introduce myself, most people think I say Ashley. NO! It's AshLYNN. I normally emphasis the lynn and people still miss it. You know that song by The Ting Tings called That's Not My Name? If not, look it up right meow. Go on, YouTube it, I'll wait...You good? Okay. That song was written for me. It's the story of my life. Ask The Ting Tings, they'll agree. Well actually they'll probably say "who's Ashley?" >:( THAT'S NOT MY NAME! I normally only correct people when I figure that I'm going to see them again often. Sometimes I don't bother correcting people. In elementary school, when substitute teachers would mispronounce my name while checking attendance or the principal would hand out awards to the class, I'd often hear the rest of my classmates yell "It's Ashlynn!" after their mistake. I used to be pretty easy going about it. But after seventeen years, I've had enough!
The last party I went to was a kegger. So I was standing around watching all these crazy teens be held upside down in order to become super wasted when this guy asks me if I want to go next. "No way, man" is what I said. I ain't no crazy! He asks if he knows me and I say nope so he introduces himself. I shake his hand and say "I'm Ashlynn." And he says "nice to meet you, Ashley." The Ting Tings are just a singing in my head. So I said "sorry, it's actually AshLYNN". Luckily he heard me that time. I never even talked to him again so I guess that maybe my correcting him wasn't necessary.
Later the same night, this super wasted guy was hanging around me after accidentally kicking an empty beer box at my feet. I tried to lose him and distanced myself the second someone else came to talk to him. I had moved to the deck of the house and he soon found his way near by again. One of Beardy's friends came up to me and said "Ashlynn, have you seen Beardy?" I told him that no, I hadn't seen him in a while. Mr. Drunk had heard him use my name and soon I had "Ashley!" being yelled into my ear repeatedly in order to get my attention. You know what's more annoying than having someone yell your name over and over in your ear? Someone yelling the wrong name over and over again in your ear. I nearly bursted out into song. "They call me girl. They call me Stacey. They call me her. They call me Jane. That's not my name!"
At swimming lessons, I tell the kids my name but a lot of them don't remember it and just call me Teacher. Some kids know my name but have trouble pronouncing their 'l's so I'm either Teacher or Ashynn. I can't win. I was considering making up a fake swim instructor name kind of like how prostitutes make their own names. I've always thought of myself as a Fahlula. Not sure where I heard it but I think it fits my personality. It sounds kind of free-spirited and awesome. One time at work one of my coworkers almost called me Lyla. I had never thought of that for myself before. I named one of my friends' PT Cruiser Lyla (just another one of my side jobs) because it's a dark grey colour and a good friend of mine had told me that Lyla means 'dark beauty'. But with most kids having trouble pronouncing their 'l's names like Fahlula and Lyla don't really work. Maybe I'll just start going by Ash, like from Pokemon. Gotta catch 'em all!
For now I'll continue my struggle. And my theme song will remain the same. Four little words just to get me along...
May the Force be with you!
Fahlula/Lyla/Ashley/Ash
