The Lost Blog

This post is called The Lost Blog because I tried uploading it a month or so ago when I actually did this and it wouldn't work. Feeling great frustration with technology, I saved it as a draft and left it. Never feeling the motivation to try another attempt again. UNTIL NOW...

So today my parents were out of town and my brother was still at work so I was home alone after school. This NEVER happens to me. Who knew that having a stay-at-home mom meant they'd be home ALL DAY, EVERYDAY? I swear sometimes I just want to run wild, blast music and spill stuff all over the floor but I can't...because my mom is there. Sometimes I get undressed for a shower and I'm like oh dang I left my hair brush upstairs. I could just run up and get it in my naked form but wait...mom's home. I guess I'll put on a towel...again! And then there's that time when I start getting really desperate and she's like "I'm going out to get the mail" and I'm thinking 'oh god, what should I do first? Dance with the dog? Throw away the leftovers I'm supposed to eat tonight? Rearrange all the living room furniture and make a fort? Lick all the spoons?' and right when I'm opening the cutlery drawer she's already back, a handful of envelopes and flyers, totally oblivious to the thoughts I just had. So anyways, I knew I had to spend my time today wisely. At first I played it cool. Laid on my bed listening to music and texting some friends. But I soon grew bored of this and felt like I was wasting my precious and rare time. And then a light beam shone through my window and directed my attention to the angelic gnome across the room.

In one of my option courses, we made a music video and so this, as well as my garden friend's beauty, inspired me to make one myself. The star would be Gnarly, the scene would be my home, the song would be Big Wheels by Down With Webster. I don't know why, but I barely had to give this any thought. It was almost as if my heart has been waiting to make a music video for this song and I only realized it today. I set up scenes, grabbed props and inspired Gnarles to act his best performance in this video. I'm hoping that if I show it to DWW they will like it and I can be their friend. Maybe I can even be hired to do a music video with them and Gnarly. Ooh! Wouldn't dat be cray? I seriously hope they see it and don't think I'm a total wackjob, even if that may be true. I am actually super proud of my work with this video. It only took me an hour to shoot all the footage by myself. Half of which was spent attempting to score a cup in beer pong. If I hadn't muted the clips you would be able to hear me cursing Gnarly for being too good.

Once finished the filming stage, I took the MacBook with me to the theatre in order to edit the footage. As well as practicing my great work ethic, I spent the night making the most wonderful music video of all time. I also posted the video on Facebook and received 7 likes thus far. Therefore, I consider the video to be a success. My coworkers and friends were quite impressed.

I also put it on my option teacher's computer desktop for him to see later. Haha hopefully it makes his day. It's not everyday you can say you've been hacked by a 3-foot gnome. 

I hope everybody likes it! If you see Down With Webster be sure to tell them about it! This is why I shouldn't be left alone for too long; too many mind-blowing things happen ;)

May the Force be with you!

-Ace and Gnarly

(Beardy called me Ace the other day and I thought it was so kick-ass. I am now using it with hopes that it catches on)

Kiss My Class Goodbye '12

Hello my lovely readers. I hope you are enjoying your summer. Actually I don't really care about your vacations because this blog is about me, not you. Can't say I'm not honest.

So during the last week of June it was my high school graduation. Well I guess it was my peers' graduation too but let's not pretend that you care about them more than me. It was an alright event. I wore a big ass dress and got my hair all done up. I looked ballin'. (In a way different than when I wear my Star Wars shirt. Speaking of which, the other day I was getting ready for work at the coolio poolio and pulled on my Empire Strikes Back shirt and just as I did so, my seventeenth alarm went off and played the Darth Vader theme song. It was fucking awesome. How awesome? Rock Mother Fucking Awesome. So awesome I feel the need to put vulgar terms in front of the word.)

All year I thought 'grad is stupid. Why are all these bitches so worked up about it?' I used to go to the meetings for the committee and sit in the back but they eventually kicked me out for laughing when they had throat-grabbing arguments trying to decide between red and burgundy. I'm sure some girls had their dresses at the end of grade nine and I thought that's insane, you've gained so much weight since then. (Haha you know I joke). Dress shopping for me was quite interesting. I've never had to stand with my butt available for the whole store to see while being laced up by an eastern man. I guess I need to get out more. I had told myself that I wanted a short dress. Not too short, just short enough to be like one of those tops you see on a hanger in a store and think 'is it a dress or a long shirt?' and I didn't want a purple one. I had already seen so many Facebook photos of girls in purple dresses.

We get to E-Town and start shopping and I finally found the perfect dress.

I know what you're thinking, that's one good looking date right there, and that looks a little purple and a little long. But it's actually considered 'wine' which my mom told me numerous times. And I had to go with a longer dress because City and Loodles both got short ones and I thought we'd look silly if we matched. So I took one for the team and told Melaney to buy it.

For my hair I really had no idea until like two days before grad when I found a picture of Jessica Alba I liked and sent it to my hair dresser. I have to say she earned her tip.

She braided my bangs and had them going into the low bun and put jeweled bobby pins in to bedazzle the do. 

It was then time to put on the dress for the night. My mom forgot to remind me to pee beforehand and I felt like a kid in a snowsuit for the next few hours. I am always the one who has to pee once you get on the highway or once I get in the pool. Always thinking 'oh yeah! That's what I was gonna do!'

While waiting to leave, Coke snapped some shots of me on our driveway with some of our vehicles.

Look at that beaut, and then there's some girl in front of it...

This is Big Poppa's Super Bee, he bought it for me to rest my arm on. ;p

I spent the night dancing and parading around in my dress. I changed out of my heels and into my Toms the first chance I got. The dress is now hanging on a nail in the unfinished part of our basement. It kind of looks like a ghost hanging from the ceiling, causing the shit to be scared out of my brother, T-Bird, and I as we went down to our rooms one night. 

The next day was our commencement ceremony where we received our diplomas. They had us fill out slips of paper asking what our future plans are a few months prior to the occasion. I had wrote 'waiting by the mailbox for my letter to Hogwarts' and they wouldn't allow it. I had to change it to 'to be successful and happy' which is super lame. This is after we listened to cliche speeches of Dr. Suess quotes and were told to be ourselves repeatedly. So really they want us to be ourselves but only under their conditions. I'm supposed to believe in myself but I can't be a wizard. I can't have a sense of humour and be goofy and enjoy this day that I only get once even after being instructed to 'be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.' 

Beardy, me, and my childhood friend, Seannanigans rocking the cap and gown. We look like wizards! Stupid school rules always messing with my mojo. 

Well I'd just like to say conGRADulations to all the other students who graduated this year. We are all rock mother fucking awesome! Class of 2012 FTW.  

May the Force be with you! 

-Ace