First off, I'd like to say how tickled-pink I am that so many people enjoy reading my blog. I've had quite a few people asking me to post more often which is very flattering but at the same time, I have to ask that you please get off my back. I love you but I feel like we need some space. Everything has just been moving so fast lately! I'm not sure if I can handle all of this commitment. It's just a little too soon since starting my instagram account and I guess I'm still not quite "over" that yet. It's not you...it's me. I can't handle the pressure you're putting me under!! I'm not saying we're through I just want everyone to know that I don't think I'll be able to make any new posts the next few weeks because it's the last couple weeks of school to hand assignments in and my teachers are all homework nazis. I want to assure you though that I am planning on dropping one hell of a blog bomb on y'all the second things start to slow down. I have quite a few ideas to write about which makes me super excited. Some future posts you can look forward to are; Theatre Theatre Popcorn Eater, My Grandma Calls Me Asshead, My Reinvention of Texting, Signs that You are Growing Up, A Cupcake a Day Keeps the Skinny Jeans Away, I Don't Even Gnome What to Think, "It's like that Game we Played", I Still Need an Xbox, My Special Relationship with Mirrors, May the Floss be with You, Pug Life, Queen of Wieners, Mustache Stash, and any thing else that pops into my head. I have many blogs in the brewing just not enough time on the clock. And I mean, if anyone wanted to help a brother out and write a couple of my diplomas so that I can blog that would be okay, I guess. So what I'm pretty much saying is stay tuned, the best is yet to come.
May the force be with you!
Wednesday 30 May 2012
Friday 25 May 2012
Sorry for Melting Faces
Please excuse my absence lately. I'm sure so many of you have been just been on standby waiting to see a new post from me. (Thanks for your patience, mom and auntie) I will now explain why you may have started to think I have fallen off the face of the earth. It starts with a T and ends with an -alent Show. That's right, the talent show. What some of you may not know about me is that I play guitar. Just kidding, I rock the guitar. I've played for about 9 years now and am still obsessed with it. My idol is Slash and one day I'll be him. But minus the drug addiction and habits of stealing. So they'll probably just call me Ash. Anyways, I really wanted to enter in the talent show since it would be the last year I'd have the opportunity to show all of my peers up. I was too nervous to go in alone though and so I decided to collaborate with my two talented friends, PattyStabs and Blondie. They already had a song in mind which we did an acoustic cover of. We started to practice about three weeks before the talent show which just added pressure of perfecting it in time. This made me quite nervous considering my stage fright consists of me losing all memory of the rehearsed performance and praying to God that I somehow pull through. I used to be a synchronized swimmer and if asked while waiting for my turn at the Water Show I wouldn't even be able to tell you how I got in the pool. But my muscle-memory would kick in and I'd somehow do fucking awesome. So I practiced this song like there was no tomorrow. Every chance I got I was in my room rocking out. The day of the talent show I didn't know what to wear. I thought 'everyone is going to be looking at me, I gotta look ballin'. So I went with my Empire Strikes Back t-shirt. When in doubt, rep The Force.
Not sure if people liked the song or the shirt better. Pretty classy, I'd say.
I made a lot of people promise to vote for us, including my mom and aunt who bought $10 worth of votes each as they walked through the door. Beardy told me this was cheating. I say nay nay. When you've got a fan base you put those peeps to work.
Okay the suspense is killing me so I'm just gonna put up the video.
Some of you may know the song, its Pumped Up Kicks by Foster the People. One teacher asked us if we wrote it and we almost said yes. At the end of the video you can see Blondie and I throwing our pics. Blondie thought that this would be a fun way to end the performance especially considering they made us go first. When we threw them they didn't go far at all. I wonder if anyone even bothered to grab them. The janitor who swept the floor afterward is one lucky lady.
The pic I prepared to toss off stage.
After the long weekend we found out that we came in first place thanks to our loyal fan base. so we each won $25 iTunes cards. My grandma also made me a delicious celebratory cake.
A is for Awesome! ...and Ashlynn, I guess.
Gnarly also enjoyed the cake. So like I said, I apologize for my absence but I think it has been excused. Sometimes melting faces gets in the way of blogging.
May the force be with you!
P.S. Episode IV: A New Hope came out 35 years ago, today.
Tuesday 15 May 2012
Gnarly and Me: 15/05/2012
I know, I know. I'm a day late for my first Gnarly and Me post. I will tell you what kept me a day late after I introduce my garden friend. The moment I set eyes on Gnarly I knew we'd be best friends. My friend, Coke, and I were walking through Walmart when I stopped mid sentence and was amazed at this enchanted creature. He didn't say much, but he spoke to me.
Gnarly looking fine from the beginning. Look at how stupid that Pooh Bear looks behind him. Lay off the honey, Pooh! (Winnie the Pooh is a beloved character from my childhood. I would never mean those words I said in anything but a comical sense. Pooh, you know we tight.)
Coke and I loved Gnarly from the start. We unfortunately didn't have enough money on us to purchase the gnome so Coke proceeded to hide him behind some bags of dirt in one of the racks. I went home that evening and told my parents about him. Big Poppa and Melaney were not impressed. But I begged and begged for them to buy him for me. Melaney finally agreed and said that he would be my valentine's day present. I was ecstatic! Never have I had a valentine and my first one is a giant gnome! I must be the luckiest girl in the world!! I took her bank card back to Walmart and rescued Gnarles from his hiding spot. Carrying him around Walmart included many looks from other shoppers. Mostly out of envy. They would have all loved to take this bearded bundle of joy home but it was I who succeeded in doing so.
The car ride home included many looks from other drivers. They were probably wondering how I got such a good looking man in my passenger seat. ;)
Gnarly was welcomed into my family right off the get-go. Melaney was already dishing him up his own plates.
So that's pretty much the story of how Gnarly and I began. It was friendship at first sight.
So the reason why I am a day late with this post is because on Sunday it was Mother's Day. Melaney was away this weekend visiting her grandma so I wasn't able to shower her in gifts. Since her absence wrecked my initial plans, Gnarly and I came up with a new idea. He would wait at the top of the stairs for my mother and my grandmother's arrival and present them with their gifts.
I have to say he looks adorable! My mom and grandma loved the surprise.
With my mom just returning home from a long drive I decided that I wouldn't blog and just spend time with her instead. Actually, I've been using her MacBook Pro to blog and felt rude to use it when she has been away from it all weekend. I could use my own Dell but once you go Mac you never go back. So me and Gnarly went outside to enjoy the beautiful weather and get our tan on;
May the force be with you!
Monday 14 May 2012
My Time-Traveling Twin
So I was working at the theatre today and was sitting in the office just minding my own business while slave labouring. I then turn to my right and see a man at the concession being served by my reliable coworkers. He was probably in his early 20's and was wearing a baseball cap and dark-framed glasses. Normally this would cause no double-take, I wouldn't even notice except that there was something about this young man that caught my eye. He looked just like my friend, Beardy but about 3 or 4 years older. I seriously stared at this person for at least 30 seconds with the words 'what up gangsta?!' on the tip of my tongue before I realized that his moustache was too thick to belong to my buddy. I then texted Beardy and told him that I saw him from the future. He was, of course, impressed. I then decided that I should've gotten a picture of the guy to compare with Beardy today as well as in the future. Like I don't think he realized how similar this guy looked to him. He had the same glasses and the same colour of hair and beard and even the same size of stretchers in his ears. I was amazed! I was in shock! The future was staring me in the face!! Actually he never looked at me but if he did I'm sure we would have one of those moments. You know the ones where you see someone and you're like hey! I know you! We're best friends! Yup, definitely one of those moments.
I guess there's just something about Beardy that makes him easy to look like. A couple weeks ago, my friend had a party and she made it so that there was a theme. Because it's not fun to just get drunk, you have to get drunk to a theme. So the theme was' dress-up'. Everyone was digging through old Halloween costumes and trying to think of good ideas but I already knew. The second I saw the theme I was like yup! Know what I'm being. I'm dressing up as Beardy. So creative I didn't even know what to do with myself. I feel like I should've won an award.
The thing about Beardy is that he's kind of a slut. (Haha he's gonna kill me for saying this) After making out with two girls on New Year's Eve and repeatedly wearing a cardigan with no shirt underneath I started to call him Slutty Buns. I knew that in my costume I would need to reflect this. Beardy had also gone to Banff recently and came back with a pair of grey sweatpants that said BANFF on the one leg. He wore these all the time so I knew this was also a key factor in the costume's realism. And then there was the little accessories that would tie it all together; the earrings, the glasses and of course, the beard.
This is when I decided that Beardy and I are secretly brother and sister. Even though we were born four months and ten days apart, I'm sure that we were separated at birth. It's probably a usual case with wizards. Look it up. We are twins.
The moral of this post is that Beardy is my brother and a time-traveler. And I win costume parties. Just another reason why I'm too fly to get by.
May the force be with you!
I guess there's just something about Beardy that makes him easy to look like. A couple weeks ago, my friend had a party and she made it so that there was a theme. Because it's not fun to just get drunk, you have to get drunk to a theme. So the theme was' dress-up'. Everyone was digging through old Halloween costumes and trying to think of good ideas but I already knew. The second I saw the theme I was like yup! Know what I'm being. I'm dressing up as Beardy. So creative I didn't even know what to do with myself. I feel like I should've won an award.
The thing about Beardy is that he's kind of a slut. (Haha he's gonna kill me for saying this) After making out with two girls on New Year's Eve and repeatedly wearing a cardigan with no shirt underneath I started to call him Slutty Buns. I knew that in my costume I would need to reflect this. Beardy had also gone to Banff recently and came back with a pair of grey sweatpants that said BANFF on the one leg. He wore these all the time so I knew this was also a key factor in the costume's realism. And then there was the little accessories that would tie it all together; the earrings, the glasses and of course, the beard.
This is the before shot I took to see how different I look as Beardy.
After tucking in my hair in a nice snap-back and painting on a beard, I realized I really don't look too different from myself and don't look half bad either.
When I got to the party I walked in feeling confident and then found that Beardy was nowhere to be seen. I asked everybody where he was and someone said they didn't think he was coming. I decided to call him and said where the hell are you? Beardy, starting to feel sick and having to work the next morning, said that he decided to stay home and get some sleep. To this I replied, 'do you realize what my costume is? I am standing here with a beard painted on my face dressed up as you.' For comparison purposes, he sent me a picture so that I could see how great of a job I'd done and I have to say it's pretty impressive.
Beardy on the left, myself on the right. Pretty award-worthy, I'd say. This photo got 14 likes on Facebook btw.
I rocked this look for the rest of the night and received many compliments from my buddy, Hutch, who was amazed at how much resemblance there was between us.
I never really thought of the idea that Beardy and I could be related until my mom and I were looking for a baby photo for my yearbook and stumbled across this little pic:
The moral of this post is that Beardy is my brother and a time-traveler. And I win costume parties. Just another reason why I'm too fly to get by.
May the force be with you!
Saturday 12 May 2012
The Things I Could've Named My Blog
-tooflytogetby
This just seemed to describe me and my attitude as well as explain some of the struggles I deal with in everyday life.
-rockawesome
A year and a half or so ago I started to tell people to call me RockAwesome because I used to hear that term when I was in the eighth grade and I was attempting to bring it back. I also gave myself a catchphrase; "That's awesome! How awesome? ROCK AWESOME."
-theycallmedaboss
This name was more of a hope I had that when I created this blog people at the theatre would actually start calling me "Da Boss".
-gnarlyandme
I was considering this name because of the 3-foot gnome I have that I named Gnarly. But I decided that I will just do a post called Gnarly and Me every once in a while that will discuss some of our great adventures.
-youcanthandletheforce
This was a combination of my love for Star Wars and the famous line from A Few Good Men. A classic.
-allmyfriendswenttocollege.istartedablog
I really wanted this to be the name of my blog but 1) it was too long (thats what she said!) 2)when i changed it to allmyfriendswenttocollege it said it was unavailable. I will search for this blog and decide whether they are worthy of the address.
This just seemed to describe me and my attitude as well as explain some of the struggles I deal with in everyday life.
-rockawesome
A year and a half or so ago I started to tell people to call me RockAwesome because I used to hear that term when I was in the eighth grade and I was attempting to bring it back. I also gave myself a catchphrase; "That's awesome! How awesome? ROCK AWESOME."
-theycallmedaboss
This name was more of a hope I had that when I created this blog people at the theatre would actually start calling me "Da Boss".
-gnarlyandme
I was considering this name because of the 3-foot gnome I have that I named Gnarly. But I decided that I will just do a post called Gnarly and Me every once in a while that will discuss some of our great adventures.
-youcanthandletheforce
This was a combination of my love for Star Wars and the famous line from A Few Good Men. A classic.
-allmyfriendswenttocollege.istartedablog
I really wanted this to be the name of my blog but 1) it was too long (thats what she said!) 2)when i changed it to allmyfriendswenttocollege it said it was unavailable. I will search for this blog and decide whether they are worthy of the address.
Let's Get Acquainted, Shall We?
So I decided to start a blog. I find that many of my stories are far too entertaining to keep them captive and contained within my small circle of friends. I don't really know how to start off and I apologize if this first post is a little lame and boring. I hope that you choose to follow me anyways in hope that they will become more interesting which I guarantee they will. (Don't touch that remote, folks!) I guess I'll start off by introducing myself. My name is Ashlynn and I live in a small town in Alberta, Canada. I am very quirky and random and have been asked many times if I have been tested for schizophrenia. I never lie, only exaggerate. I'm not conceited but I'm pretty sure I'm what people are talking about when they use the term 'da bomb'. I love Harry Potter and Star Wars and am still patiently waiting on my acceptance letter to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry that has been lost in the mail since I was eleven. I am now seventeen. I drive a 2006 Route 66 edition PT Cruiser which is yellow. His name is Petey Jalepeno (get it?! Petey like PT and Jalepeno because PT Cruisers are made in Mexico). People in town love it. I've seen a number of parents point it out to their crying children in hopes of reversing the sadness caused when ice cream is dropped, knees are skinned or punishments are given. Every time, the same result; instant smiles. Lots of people also wave to me as I pass them. Normally only using one finger but I still find it friendly.
Actually the drivers in this town are crazy. The other day, my friend City (nicknames will be used to keep the privacy of the people who may not want to be associated with this blog) and I, were driving to Subway for lunch. The road going to Subway is double-laned on both sides with the right lane being used more as a turning lane. I was following a truck and a car and had another truck behind me. The truck in front had to turn left so me and the car slowed down. Once the truck had turned and we were gaining back our original speed, I saw the truck that had been behind me was now beside me. I realized that this truck was going to try to pass me in the turning lane. This is something that really grinds my gears. So many people are way too impatient and can't stand to slow down 10k for 10 seconds in order to let someone turn. So I lost it. I sped up so that I was right behind the car and gave the truck a look that said 'not in my town, buddy'. So I'm now going about 70k down main street while this truck is forced to brake and get back in the lane behind me. To some, I may sound like a psychopathic hot-head but I'm really just helping people. I'm teaching them the rules of the road. Rule #1: don't fuck with me and Petey.
I guess you could say that I'm also a backseat driver. I was the first one of my friends to get my license and so I'll admit, I feel like a bit of a mentor/ teacher in the driving world. You could call me an idol; I guess that'd be okay. So anyways, my friend, City, got her license and she drives a jeep (this caused me to think of the term 'jeepin' it real' for when we go cruising. {like keepin' it real but in a jeep}). So there's City behind the wheel and our other friend, Loodles shotgun. I am in the back behind City (for safety purposes) and I soon find that City is one crazy lady. She turns when people are about 10 meters away from us. I don't want to act like I'm the best driver in the world but I guess I'm the most patient. I see no problem with waiting three minutes for a car to drive by before I turn. I've got nothin but time! (I bet that when my mom read that line she said 'thats why you're always late for school) So as City turns I can normally be seen through the back window screaming my head off. One time we were waiting at a stop light to turn left and then she just starts turning. Out of nowhere! I yelled "Why are you going? You're supposed to wait for traffic! You do not have the right of way!" To this she replied, "I have an arrow."
Jackass.
But to get back on track with the whole 'get to know me' post, I also work at the movie theatre and the swimming pool. Some people call me a workaholic but I just consider myself a genius. I'll share my secret with you. When getting a job, get one with the best perks. I love movies plus the theatre is expensive so what did I do? Got a job at the theatre. Free movies. I also like swimming and eating a lot of cake. So, being this incredibly smart and gifted, I got a job at the pool where I swim for free and many birthday parties leave their leftover cake for the lifeguards to eat. Fucking A! How'd I get to be so smart? (Drink your milk, kids) I have actually worked at the theatre for four years and I'm the only one left from when I started. I am now a supervisor and fricken run that show. Along with my team of trustworthy and loyal employees. (not sure if they're reading this) We have an answering service that people phone in order to hear what movies are playing and at what times. I am in charge of recording it every week. At first people didn't realize it was my voice but now I'm having more and more people ask me if its actually me or the voice of an angel. And my answer is; all of the above. I sort of consider myself the face behind the theatre except they can't see me so I'm actually the voice behind the theatre. I have so many stories to say about the theatre but I will save them for later posts.
I'm not really sure how much more detail to get into for my first post as I'm sure you'll get to know me more and more with each one. I would like to take this time to say thank you for reading my blog and I hope to keep you as a reader. If you are someone from school that I made promise to read this, I'm glad you aren't a liar.
May the force be with you,
Ashlynn aka ADub aka RockAwesome
Actually the drivers in this town are crazy. The other day, my friend City (nicknames will be used to keep the privacy of the people who may not want to be associated with this blog) and I, were driving to Subway for lunch. The road going to Subway is double-laned on both sides with the right lane being used more as a turning lane. I was following a truck and a car and had another truck behind me. The truck in front had to turn left so me and the car slowed down. Once the truck had turned and we were gaining back our original speed, I saw the truck that had been behind me was now beside me. I realized that this truck was going to try to pass me in the turning lane. This is something that really grinds my gears. So many people are way too impatient and can't stand to slow down 10k for 10 seconds in order to let someone turn. So I lost it. I sped up so that I was right behind the car and gave the truck a look that said 'not in my town, buddy'. So I'm now going about 70k down main street while this truck is forced to brake and get back in the lane behind me. To some, I may sound like a psychopathic hot-head but I'm really just helping people. I'm teaching them the rules of the road. Rule #1: don't fuck with me and Petey.
I guess you could say that I'm also a backseat driver. I was the first one of my friends to get my license and so I'll admit, I feel like a bit of a mentor/ teacher in the driving world. You could call me an idol; I guess that'd be okay. So anyways, my friend, City, got her license and she drives a jeep (this caused me to think of the term 'jeepin' it real' for when we go cruising. {like keepin' it real but in a jeep}). So there's City behind the wheel and our other friend, Loodles shotgun. I am in the back behind City (for safety purposes) and I soon find that City is one crazy lady. She turns when people are about 10 meters away from us. I don't want to act like I'm the best driver in the world but I guess I'm the most patient. I see no problem with waiting three minutes for a car to drive by before I turn. I've got nothin but time! (I bet that when my mom read that line she said 'thats why you're always late for school) So as City turns I can normally be seen through the back window screaming my head off. One time we were waiting at a stop light to turn left and then she just starts turning. Out of nowhere! I yelled "Why are you going? You're supposed to wait for traffic! You do not have the right of way!" To this she replied, "I have an arrow."
Jackass.
But to get back on track with the whole 'get to know me' post, I also work at the movie theatre and the swimming pool. Some people call me a workaholic but I just consider myself a genius. I'll share my secret with you. When getting a job, get one with the best perks. I love movies plus the theatre is expensive so what did I do? Got a job at the theatre. Free movies. I also like swimming and eating a lot of cake. So, being this incredibly smart and gifted, I got a job at the pool where I swim for free and many birthday parties leave their leftover cake for the lifeguards to eat. Fucking A! How'd I get to be so smart? (Drink your milk, kids) I have actually worked at the theatre for four years and I'm the only one left from when I started. I am now a supervisor and fricken run that show. Along with my team of trustworthy and loyal employees. (not sure if they're reading this) We have an answering service that people phone in order to hear what movies are playing and at what times. I am in charge of recording it every week. At first people didn't realize it was my voice but now I'm having more and more people ask me if its actually me or the voice of an angel. And my answer is; all of the above. I sort of consider myself the face behind the theatre except they can't see me so I'm actually the voice behind the theatre. I have so many stories to say about the theatre but I will save them for later posts.
I'm not really sure how much more detail to get into for my first post as I'm sure you'll get to know me more and more with each one. I would like to take this time to say thank you for reading my blog and I hope to keep you as a reader. If you are someone from school that I made promise to read this, I'm glad you aren't a liar.
May the force be with you,
Ashlynn aka ADub aka RockAwesome
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