So during the last week of June it was my high school graduation. Well I guess it was my peers' graduation too but let's not pretend that you care about them more than me. It was an alright event. I wore a big ass dress and got my hair all done up. I looked ballin'. (In a way different than when I wear my Star Wars shirt. Speaking of which, the other day I was getting ready for work at the coolio poolio and pulled on my Empire Strikes Back shirt and just as I did so, my seventeenth alarm went off and played the Darth Vader theme song. It was fucking awesome. How awesome? Rock Mother Fucking Awesome. So awesome I feel the need to put vulgar terms in front of the word.)
All year I thought 'grad is stupid. Why are all these bitches so worked up about it?' I used to go to the meetings for the committee and sit in the back but they eventually kicked me out for laughing when they had throat-grabbing arguments trying to decide between red and burgundy. I'm sure some girls had their dresses at the end of grade nine and I thought that's insane, you've gained so much weight since then. (Haha you know I joke). Dress shopping for me was quite interesting. I've never had to stand with my butt available for the whole store to see while being laced up by an eastern man. I guess I need to get out more. I had told myself that I wanted a short dress. Not too short, just short enough to be like one of those tops you see on a hanger in a store and think 'is it a dress or a long shirt?' and I didn't want a purple one. I had already seen so many Facebook photos of girls in purple dresses.
We get to E-Town and start shopping and I finally found the perfect dress.
For my hair I really had no idea until like two days before grad when I found a picture of Jessica Alba I liked and sent it to my hair dresser. I have to say she earned her tip.
She braided my bangs and had them going into the low bun and put jeweled bobby pins in to bedazzle the do.
It was then time to put on the dress for the night. My mom forgot to remind me to pee beforehand and I felt like a kid in a snowsuit for the next few hours. I am always the one who has to pee once you get on the highway or once I get in the pool. Always thinking 'oh yeah! That's what I was gonna do!'
While waiting to leave, Coke snapped some shots of me on our driveway with some of our vehicles.
Look at that beaut, and then there's some girl in front of it...
This is Big Poppa's Super Bee, he bought it for me to rest my arm on. ;p
I spent the night dancing and parading around in my dress. I changed out of my heels and into my Toms the first chance I got. The dress is now hanging on a nail in the unfinished part of our basement. It kind of looks like a ghost hanging from the ceiling, causing the shit to be scared out of my brother, T-Bird, and I as we went down to our rooms one night.
The next day was our commencement ceremony where we received our diplomas. They had us fill out slips of paper asking what our future plans are a few months prior to the occasion. I had wrote 'waiting by the mailbox for my letter to Hogwarts' and they wouldn't allow it. I had to change it to 'to be successful and happy' which is super lame. This is after we listened to cliche speeches of Dr. Suess quotes and were told to be ourselves repeatedly. So really they want us to be ourselves but only under their conditions. I'm supposed to believe in myself but I can't be a wizard. I can't have a sense of humour and be goofy and enjoy this day that I only get once even after being instructed to 'be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.'
Beardy, me, and my childhood friend, Seannanigans rocking the cap and gown. We look like wizards! Stupid school rules always messing with my mojo.
Well I'd just like to say conGRADulations to all the other students who graduated this year. We are all rock mother fucking awesome! Class of 2012 FTW.
May the Force be with you!
-Ace
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