Thursday 26 February 2015

19 going on 90

Hiiiiiiiiiii,

Do you know that the opening statement of every post is the hardest part to write for me? I never know how to address such a diverse group of people. I mean it's too much to write out Hey Mom, Hi Grandma, What's Up Dad, Hello Auntie. I always try to write something that can be humorous but still friendly. So today you get Hiiiiiiiiiii because I'm feeling too lazy to be creative.

My roommate actually requested that I write this post because she likes to mock me about it. I have discovered I am an old soul. A very old soul. I am pretty much a 90 year old in a 20 year old's body. I'm like one of those immortals who live forever but is really like a million years old. But still look hella good! ;)

I just turned 20 in December but 20 going on 90 doesn't sound as good as 19 going on 90 so that's why the title is that way. Also because I do this thing called WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT.

I have discovered that I am an old soul by realizing that I love doing old people things. Not things like wearing diapers and using a cane. But like the fun stuff. I love taking naps, for one. And I know that's kinda like a baby thing too but babies never feel the pleasure of a good nap. The oldies are the ones who wake up like ohhh yaaa that was good. I can nap any time of the day. I love it right after school and before supper. Sometimes I have a nap before supper with the hopes that someone will have broken in to our apartment and made me something to eat for when I wake up. That never happens but it would be fucking awesome. My roommate always walks by my bedroom door and is always like oh there's Ashlynn, napping again. It's like my thing. Ashlynn: The Napper.

I also like to eat really early. Like 3 pm is my favourite supper time. It's never busy in restaurants and never gets in the way of evening events. There's less traffic. In fact, the only people you see in restaurants at 3 pm is other old people. Having supper at 3 pm fills me up until like 10. It is just the best. It's when I am the most hungry. Old people have everything figured out.

I'm terrible at driving at night. I can't see shit. And everybody's headlights are so bright. And ever since I got a huge speeding ticket last year, I have started to just drive 80km/hr on every highway.

I would rather spend my time with cats than people. They just get me. And I am always intrigued with them playing hard to get and everything.

Lastly, I learned how to crochet this year. I decided to try so that I could make cute, homemade gifts for Christmas and it would save me a ton of money. I was so slow at first that I needed to use every free minute to finish up my projects. I was even crocheting on the bus! If that doesn't scream old lady, I don't know what does! I became a bit of a yarn hoarder and have a box and a couple bags full of different coloured skeins. I guess that the fact that every Christmas I wrap up presents and then forget what I put in them could be another old person thing. But I like that. Then when people open up the presents I get them it's like a surprise for me too. Sometimes I'm more excited than they are.

All I really have to say about being an old soul but still looking and feeling young is that it's the best. I can't wait for retirement though. I wanna retire when I'm like 40. That's the dream right there.

May the Force be with you!
Nana Ashlynn

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