So I decided to start a blog. I find that many of my stories are far too entertaining to keep them captive and contained within my small circle of friends. I don't really know how to start off and I apologize if this first post is a little lame and boring. I hope that you choose to follow me anyways in hope that they will become more interesting which I guarantee they will. (Don't touch that remote, folks!) I guess I'll start off by introducing myself. My name is Ashlynn and I live in a small town in Alberta, Canada. I am very quirky and random and have been asked many times if I have been tested for schizophrenia. I never lie, only exaggerate. I'm not conceited but I'm pretty sure I'm what people are talking about when they use the term 'da bomb'. I love Harry Potter and Star Wars and am still patiently waiting on my acceptance letter to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry that has been lost in the mail since I was eleven. I am now seventeen. I drive a 2006 Route 66 edition PT Cruiser which is yellow. His name is Petey Jalepeno (get it?! Petey like PT and Jalepeno because PT Cruisers are made in Mexico). People in town love it. I've seen a number of parents point it out to their crying children in hopes of reversing the sadness caused when ice cream is dropped, knees are skinned or punishments are given. Every time, the same result; instant smiles. Lots of people also wave to me as I pass them. Normally only using one finger but I still find it friendly.
Actually the drivers in this town are crazy. The other day, my friend City (nicknames will be used to keep the privacy of the people who may not want to be associated with this blog) and I, were driving to Subway for lunch. The road going to Subway is double-laned on both sides with the right lane being used more as a turning lane. I was following a truck and a car and had another truck behind me. The truck in front had to turn left so me and the car slowed down. Once the truck had turned and we were gaining back our original speed, I saw the truck that had been behind me was now beside me. I realized that this truck was going to try to pass me in the turning lane. This is something that really grinds my gears. So many people are way too impatient and can't stand to slow down 10k for 10 seconds in order to let someone turn. So I lost it. I sped up so that I was right behind the car and gave the truck a look that said 'not in my town, buddy'. So I'm now going about 70k down main street while this truck is forced to brake and get back in the lane behind me. To some, I may sound like a psychopathic hot-head but I'm really just helping people. I'm teaching them the rules of the road. Rule #1: don't fuck with me and Petey.
I guess you could say that I'm also a backseat driver. I was the first one of my friends to get my license and so I'll admit, I feel like a bit of a mentor/ teacher in the driving world. You could call me an idol; I guess that'd be okay. So anyways, my friend, City, got her license and she drives a jeep (this caused me to think of the term 'jeepin' it real' for when we go cruising. {like keepin' it real but in a jeep}). So there's City behind the wheel and our other friend, Loodles shotgun. I am in the back behind City (for safety purposes) and I soon find that City is one crazy lady. She turns when people are about 10 meters away from us. I don't want to act like I'm the best driver in the world but I guess I'm the most patient. I see no problem with waiting three minutes for a car to drive by before I turn. I've got nothin but time! (I bet that when my mom read that line she said 'thats why you're always late for school) So as City turns I can normally be seen through the back window screaming my head off. One time we were waiting at a stop light to turn left and then she just starts turning. Out of nowhere! I yelled "Why are you going? You're supposed to wait for traffic! You do not have the right of way!" To this she replied, "I have an arrow."
Jackass.
But to get back on track with the whole 'get to know me' post, I also work at the movie theatre and the swimming pool. Some people call me a workaholic but I just consider myself a genius. I'll share my secret with you. When getting a job, get one with the best perks. I love movies plus the theatre is expensive so what did I do? Got a job at the theatre. Free movies. I also like swimming and eating a lot of cake. So, being this incredibly smart and gifted, I got a job at the pool where I swim for free and many birthday parties leave their leftover cake for the lifeguards to eat. Fucking A! How'd I get to be so smart? (Drink your milk, kids) I have actually worked at the theatre for four years and I'm the only one left from when I started. I am now a supervisor and fricken run that show. Along with my team of trustworthy and loyal employees. (not sure if they're reading this) We have an answering service that people phone in order to hear what movies are playing and at what times. I am in charge of recording it every week. At first people didn't realize it was my voice but now I'm having more and more people ask me if its actually me or the voice of an angel. And my answer is; all of the above. I sort of consider myself the face behind the theatre except they can't see me so I'm actually the voice behind the theatre. I have so many stories to say about the theatre but I will save them for later posts.
I'm not really sure how much more detail to get into for my first post as I'm sure you'll get to know me more and more with each one. I would like to take this time to say thank you for reading my blog and I hope to keep you as a reader. If you are someone from school that I made promise to read this, I'm glad you aren't a liar.
May the force be with you,
Ashlynn aka ADub aka RockAwesome
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